


The Boyfriend

by messitallup



Series: The Hairdressers!AU [3]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fighting, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Reference to/Implied Cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-14
Updated: 2014-04-14
Packaged: 2018-01-19 10:43:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1466449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/messitallup/pseuds/messitallup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard's fucked up, and he knows it. He also knows that this amount of pain shouldn't be possible to contain within a person without said person exploding.<br/>Apparently it is possible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> I had a shitty day, so decided to take it out and funnel it through these two. Sorry guys.  
> Plus, I have a cut on my hand which makes typing painful, so love me for this.  
> Or you know, hate me because of the pain I've written these two into.  
> Sorry?  
> Unbeta'ed, all mistakes are my own :)

“Fuck you, Gerard, what is _wrong_ with you?” Frank snarled at me, face rippling in fury. Gerard could feel the waves of anger rolling off him, one after another, hitting him in the face like a slap with every word. “So you’re not going to say anything? Not even deny it?”

“No, because it’s what happened and neither of us appreciate lying, Frank,” Gerard threw right back, “Like, remember that time you ‘wanted a break’ during Easter, but actually it was only so you didn’t have to come out to your parents! So yeah, I’m sick of having to lie and pretend all the fucking time, ‘no sir, we met at a party, we’re roommates’. Yeah, if roommates _fuck each other on a regular basis!_ ”

“Low blow, fuck you,” Frank’s eye narrowed, “Go take your shit, I don’t want you back here tonight, or any other really. Go pleading to _Graham_ or whatever his fucking name was, and I swear if I see hide or hair of you, I will tear. You. Apart.”

“Expect the fucking moving men tomorrow. Good luck paying rent without me you bastard! And yeah, Graham said he would’ve introduced me to his parents!” And with that Gerard left, pulling his phone out of his pocket and dialing Mikey up.

Truth be told, he hadn’t actually had sex with Graham. The night before, Gerard had had enough, enough of Frank’s inability to fucking tell the truth to his parents about him, to continue to force Gerard to lie to his parents about them, and rewrite their whole history. So Gerard had done the first thing that had crossed his mind, he’d gone out and gotten completely, and utterly obliterated; he hadn’t actually been planning on going home with anyone, it'd just happened, and then he'd fallen asleep there and he couldn't be bothered to correct Frank. Their relationship was over anyway, Frank had made that clear enough.

“Hey, Mikey Way speaking?”

And with that, outside Gerard’s apartment building, he broke down crying, sobs shaking his whole body, wall after wall of regret smashing and sorrow and _Frankie_ hit him full force, knocking the breath out of his lungs in shaking, heart-wrenching sobs.

“Fuck, Gee? I’ll come and get you, where are you?” Mikey rushed out down the phone, “What has Frank done? I’m going to fucking murder him, I swear to God.”

“O-out-outside o-our apartment-t b-building, in the p-parking lo-lot,” Gerard forced out, tears streaming down his face. The car park for the flats was empty, thank God, so no one was there to witness his breakdown. Even if there had been, Gerard was sure he couldn’t have stopped the tears if he tried.

“Okay, I’m coming, hold on, okay? I’ll be right there, promise.” Gerard heard Mikey end the call, but left the elongated beep dial tone on, not bothering to end the call himself.  
He collapsed on the ground, feeling as though something had been ripped out of him, he knew it was his fault, he wasn’t stupid, and he’d fucked up, again. He was always fucking up these days.

Hell, it was his own fuck up that had nearly gotten him raped at work, and now he might lose his job because of it. No matter what anyone said about it, it was his fault, he’d apparently been giving out signals, so therefore he’d been leading Tim on; of course it was his fault.

A short time later Gerard saw Mikey’s beaten up old car pull up alongside him in the underground car park, and Gerard shuffled in. He didn’t bother to hide the fact that he’d been crying, though in the 15 minutes that Mikey had taken to get here, the tears had long stopped. He was now in shock, 10 months with Frank, and now it was all over. He’d moved over here _for_ Frank not two months ago, shifting all his work, belongings, his life to a foreign country so that he could be close to his boyfriend only to have himself fuck it up shortly afterwards.

Rationally, Gerard knew it wasn’t just his fault, it was also Frank’s, and the fact that there was a lack of communication within the relationship, both being too proud to admit when they’d been hurt by the other. This had resulted in a tension building for months, finally being released in a destructive whirlwind, blowing everything Gerard had taken for granted away.

“Fuck, what happened, Gee?” Mikey asked, looking his brother up and down, noticing the hickey’s that’d given last night’s activities away to Frank.

And so Gerard, told the whole sordid story, how he’d moved here to show he was committed (and also to save money in international calls and flights) and how Frank had still refused to come out to his parents, how Frank and him had been arguing over the smallest things recently, and then finally, how he’d fucked up last night.

“Hey, Gee, you both messed up, this isn’t just your fault. Plus, as much as I hate to admit it, it sounds like the relationship was coming to a close anyway,” Mikey paused, changing gears at a traffic light, “I’m sorry though, I know it must be hard.  I’d be a wreck if anything like that had happened between me and Alicia.”

Gerard nodded despondently, staring at the folded hands in his lap.

_“You have such beautiful hands, Gee,” Frank gasped as Gerard trailed his fingertips slowly over Frank’s skin, tracing swirls and tattoos, before following his hands with his tongue, “You’re so beautiful, I’m so lucky. So fucking lucky, oh!”_

Gerard’s eyes welled up at the memory, it wasn’t new. It was the morning after they’d first slept together, sheets sticky from the night before and bodies rusty from sleep. It hadn’t even been thirty minutes and he missed Frank so much. His Frankie.

_“Babe, want to watch a movie? Eat in tonight?” Frank’s arm slung around Gerard’s waist, regarding themselves in the mirror where Gerard had been washing his hands, “I feel lazy tonight.”_

_His hands slowly trailed lower until they were resting just above Gerard’s crotch, and Gerard smiled, turning to plant a kiss in Frank’s hair lovingly, meeting his eyes in the mirror, “Whatever you want, Frankie, I’m down.” Gerard nipped at Frank’s earlobe, “My Frankie.”_

_“I’m yours to keep, Gee, I promise.”_

Two weeks later and things weren’t looking any better. As Gerard had promised, the moving men, Mikey, Alicia, and two of Gerard’s new friends, Ray Toro and Bob Bryar had moved all of Gerard’s stuff into the backs of their cars and into the storage unit Gerard had downtown for his art as he looked for a new apartment.

For the moment he was staying with Mikey and Alicia but he couldn’t rely on them forever, and last week Alicia had discovered she was pregnant anyway, so that put even more pressure on Gerard to get out of their house.

“This is a lovely one bedroom studio flat, spacious living room-slash-kitchen, with two bathrooms and two parking spaces downstairs.”

His real-estate agent opened the door with a flourish, Mikey and Alicia – who’d insisted on coming house… well, flat hunting with him – followed her eagerly. They didn’t get that Gerard would probably sign on for the first one bedroom with running water and electricity and no mould growing on the ceiling and enough space for his art, he didn’t particularly care at this point, he had no room left for much after the hurt had left. He was just empty now, he didn’t know what to do with himself.

Gerard followed them through the short tour of the place, nodding in all the right places, and only half listening when prices, benefits and disadvantages had been discussed.

“I think he should go for it, you like it Gee?” Alicia smiled kindly at him, absentmindedly rubbing her stomach where a small bump was starting to show.

“Hmmm,” Gerard sighed, casting a glance around the place again, “Yeah, it’s okay.”

“And remarkably cheap too,” The estate agent cut in, “For the location and size.”

“We’ll think on it, and call you back, thank you,” Mikey said, and that was the end of the exchange.

Gerard’s phone buzzed in his pocket, signalling a text, but when he unlocked it, the screen showed him that the text had been from a blocked number, which was weird considering that he’d never actually blocked anyone on his phone.

He didn’t notice he was out of the flat and in the car until he heard the car door slam shut behind him and he wondered how he’d actually got in here in the first place.

“So, you think you’re gonna go for it?” Mikey asked, peering round into the backseat of the car as he turned the ignition and Gerard shrugged.

Mikey and Alicia exchanged a look, but didn’t say anything as Mikey pulled away from the curb.

***

Gerard sat down on the bar stool. He’d been trying to work out how to find out what the blocked number was without actually unblocking the number all evening, to no avail. He still wasn’t giving up, fiddling a bit more as he ordered a beer, sighing frustrated. Fucking iPhones. Expensive piece of shit.  
He should never have let the company convince him to buy one.

He gulped down the liquid, cool and burning, the alcoholic within him sighing at release. He knew Mikey would be mad at him, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to stop feeling to empty. And alone.

Because God knew, he felt so alone without Frank’s body heat mingling with his own when he slept. He remembered when he could barely sleep with Frank in the bed, being so unused to another body being there, but he’d quickly become accustomed to it. Now, it seemed that Gerard couldn’t sleep without Frank’s heat reassuring him and his arms cradling him as he dreamt. He was so tired and lonely.

He slammed the empty glass down on the bar stool and signaled for another, not looking up from his phone. He was obsessed in finding out who he’d blocked and why they wanted to get hold of him so badly.

Another three beers later, Gerard stumbled out of the shitty bar, mumbling to himself about the shitty beer they served and the shitty, uncomfortable seats he’d been forced to use, when he slammed into something. Someone. Whatever, he didn’t care.

“Fuck, sorry dude,” a hand steadied him, before his hand froze around Gerard’s arm and he choked out, “Gee?”

“Huh? What?” Gerard slurred, trying to pull his wrist back from the stranger, “Go ‘way please, I wanna be alone.”

“Please, Gee, I’m so sorry, please, I’m sorry,” Frank gasped out, not quite crying but nearly there.

“Frankie?” Gerard looked up, “No, why would he want me, I’m such a fuck up. No Frankie here.”

That’s what made Frank break down, as Gerard watched, alcohol addled brain not really processing what was happening.

“But if a Frankie is here, not my Frankie, but A Frankie, might as well make the most of it. So lonely,” Gerard reached out to Frank, wiping at his tears, “Don’t cry A Frankie, you might not be My Frankie, but no Frankie should cry. You’re too beautiful to cry.”

“Gee, baby, have you been drinking?” Frank asked, collecting himself, and scolding himself for not noticing earlier.

“Yeah. Sorry A Frankie.”

“S’okay, just, don’t, don’t do it again, okay,” Frank said, his hand back encircling Gerard’s wrist, tugging him towards where his car was parked, he had to get Gerard home; he wasn’t in a fit state to be out at night. It wasn’t safe.

The car was filled with Gerard’s drunken humming and the occasional hiccup that forced its way out of Gerard’s tired lungs.

“I’m sorry Frank.”

“Me too, Gee, me too.”

***

They didn’t sleep together that night, Frank dropped Gerard outside Mikey’s house, and Gerard woke in the morning with a killer headache and an unimpressed brother.

“Frank dropped this off this morning,” Mikey said coldly, handing Gerard over his phone.

“Oh,” Gerard looked down in surprise, when he couldn’t find his phone this morning; he’d thought he’d lost it in the shitty bar he’d been drinking in. “Thanks.”

Gerard knew that Mikey would forgive him. He wasn’t planning on repeating last night’s stunt ever again. Mikey would forgive him – eventually. He hoped.

He turned back and shuffled into his room, shutting the door behind him with a soft snick and unlocked his phone.

The first thing he noticed was the number that had been previously blocked wasn’t any longer.

The second thing he noticed, was that it had been Frank’s number that had been blocked.

The third thing he noticed was the 18 texts he’d missed in the past two weeks. All from Frank.

_I’m so sorry, let’s talk._

_Actually no, don’t forgive me._

_I miss you. I don’t deserve you._

_What’re you thinking, gee?_

_I love you, please talk to me_

_I never deserved you. I just wish you were here._

_I can’t concentrate. I can’t think. I miss you so much it hurts_

_I guess you hate me. I was being stupid, you have every right to._

_Don’t hate me_

_I fucked up really badly didn’t I? I’m so sorry for doing this to us._

_I came out to my mum, I just wish I had you beside me when I did it. I wish I hadn’t been so blind_

_Can we be friends?_

_No actually, I’m not sure I could deal with that_

_I figured you’ve blocked my number at this point, so I might as well tell you. I would trade most things to have you. Even for one night_

_Even to see your face again, to see you smile_

_I haven’t made you smile in a long time_

_I’m sorry_

_I’m going to give up now, I love you so much. I wish you knew_

_Bye gee. Love you xoFrnk_

Fuck. That hurt. Gerard felt tears roll down his face, silent in his pain.

He half typed out the reply, _I’ll always love you_ but thought the better of it just as his phone vibrated in his hands.

A new text popped up, also from Frank:

_Hey Gee. I don’t really know how to start this, and it’s probably going to be a long text. I thought Id let you go, but seeing you last night, like you were, it made me realise that I should fight for the most important thing in my world: you.  
Since we split up, some days my chest hurts so bad, it feels like it’s going to explode, my heart almost feels like it is giving up, and I picture you and him and I wonder, where did I go wrong? But I guess we both know where I did. And I went so wrong didn’t I?_

_I miss you. I unblocked my number after seeing you’d done so, so you could see this last text. It doesn’t matter what happens from here, I wanted you to know that you’ll always be my one and only, and no one, no one will ever be like you were for me.  
Meeting you in that fucking hairdressers, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Seeing you for the first time in my stool? It made me think, hey, what I’d do to be with that guy, and I’m so lucky I had you. For even the shortest time._

_I love you, I always will. I’m not saying I’ll wait for you, you’ve probably moved on, and I’m going to let you, I don’t want to prolong any pain for you or me, but if you ever decide you want me again, even for one night, one weekend, one week, or one second, I’ll be here. Always, as friends, comfort, lovers anything._

_I love you. Did we all fall down? I guess so._

Fuck, no. Frankie, his Frankie.  
Gerard’s chest hurt, as he typed out a single _wait._ No other explanation, and rushed out of the house, shoving the keys into his recently unused car and speeding out of the road, rain lashing at his windshield, smearing his view.

He called up his brother saying only,  
“I know it was you who blocked Frank’s number, and I would just like to say, I am so fucking _mad_ right now that doesn’t even begin to cover it. Understood?” and ended the call before Mikey could get a word in edgeways.

He ran all the way up the stairs after the elevator took too long to screech its way down the shaft, sweating and swearing all the way, slamming his fist down on the door continuously until he heard movement from within the apartment.

He heard a hand being placed on the doorknob and the twist, click, swish of the door opening before throwing himself at the person opening the door.

“Uh, Gee, I think its Frank you’re looking for,” Bob muttered, removing himself from the shaking Gerard.

“Oh, umm sorry, where is he?” Gerard asked, eyes wide, sad and hopeful, but the creativity, life and essence of him that had been missing for so long restored by that one text.

“Bedroom.”

Gerard thanked Bob, sprinting towards his old room and knocked… well banged on the door.

“Fuck off, please Bob,” Frank half snarled half whimpered from within. The combination reminded Gerard of a wounded animal and broke his heart that he’d caused this.

He twisted the door handle and slipped in through the door, Frank had his back to him and was staring at his phone in his hands.

“I said _fuck off –_ Gerard?” Frank looked up finally, and spoke Gerard’s name with such hope and fear that it hurt Gerard’s chest.

“Hey Frankie.” Gerard moved closer to the bed, slowly, and Frank’s hands came up fumbling to clutch at his face when Gerard drew near enough, “Hey there, got your text.”  
Gerard smiled weakly at Frank, before Frank surged up and kissed him all teeth and tongue and desperation to check that he was real, there and solid, that he wouldn’t float away as soon as he let go and Gerard gave as good as he got, gripping Frank’s shoulder so hard it hurt, his knuckles turning white and skin stretching over bone.

“Please be real, please be real,” Frank muttered over and over in between deep, heated kisses, his hands wandered down to rest at the base of Gerard’s neck and Gerard shivered. He’d missed Frank so much, the way he smelt, kissed, talked, the way he sung in the shower when he thought no one was listening, his random urges to clean the place but give up halfway through and leave random shit everywhere, his cooking, and his random animal rights’ rants and irritatingly inane inclinations to change the channel in the middle of a program. His breathed out sighs and moans during sex, and his soft ‘I love you’s.

“Oh my God, Frank, please, I love you,” Gerard breathed out, “Please.” He didn’t quite know what he was begging for yet though.

“Always, I’ll always love you,” Frank returned, and covered Gerard’s mouth with his again and Gerard knew that was what he’d been asking for.

Gerard knew in that moment, that was always what he’d be asking for.

Forever. He’d always want his Frankie.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Happy ending?  
> Not the end of the series I don't think.  
> Might be more to come, probably more to come. On holidays so I have nothing better to do with my time :P  
> Have a nice day/evening/morning/night wherever you guys are.


End file.
